Speaking of fags making civic-minded gestures of dubitable effectiveness, one of the higher-ups in the Stonewall Democrats chapter at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, has decided that the logo for a new burger joint in town is offensive (via Advice Goddess). You’ve probably narrowed the reason down to just a handful of possibilities. Read the quotation below to see whether you guessed the correct PC transgression!

LSA senior Kolby Roberts, a member of the Stonewall Democrats who has led the effort, said he finds the logo’s message inappropriate and offensive.

“I have a problem that you take a women riding a hamburger and you put it next to the word ‘quickie,’” he said. “It just seems like it’s not putting a good message out there for the objectification of women.”

Please. No gay man on Earth is in any position to be complaining about others’ sexually objectifying anyone. Sorry. Just, no. You can complain that it’s inappropriate in a given context, but that would require more precise thinking. It would also require thinking about manners and the evolution of beneficial social mores and stuff, and you might end up saying something judgmental.

Anyway, the reason this story caught my eye, besides Amy Alkon’s funny commentary, was the lameness of the complainers’ reasoning:

Roberts said he believed the image was distasteful, regardless of the person.

“Basically, what it has is a provocatively dressed woman straddling a hamburger, and she’s very busty and its kind of really horrible,” he said.

“Kind of really horrible”? Good thing you’re an engineering major, darlin’, ’cause you’re not doing our famed gay skill at delivering pithy witticisms any justice.

How things have degraded. Back in my college days, when dinosaurs and Massive Attack roamed free, the affronted leaders of feminist and gay student groups would at least have had some pseudo-philosophical hoodoo to make their pique sound deeply meaningful. Where’s the mention of the “male gaze”? Where’s the invocation of the “hostile intellectual environment”? And it’s Michigan–shouldn’t we be bringing Catharine MacKinnon into the act? What are they teaching kids these days?

Added on 29 March: Eric is in Ann Arbor at the moment and has checked the place out.

The story’s a good week old, but considering what old news it is anyway, I don’t feel all that dumb linking to it now. R.E.M. has a new album out soon, and the hype-o-rator has been on full-blast for weeks. Who knows? Maybe it really is the band’s best album in over a decade, and old fans should be getting all spazzy with anticipation. (Personally, I dropped away after Automatic for the People, which to me is about as melodious and ear-pleasing as the reaction of a cat when you throw a bucket of ice water over it. I’m clearly in the minority on that one, though.)

Anyway, there’s a usual flurry of interviews and photo shoots and magazine covers. GayNews reports that Michael Stipe has finally just cut the crap and identified himself as gay:

This week he told Spin magazine, “I recognize that to have public figures be very open about their sexuality helps some kid somewhere out there.”

Although Stipe has never felt the need to discuss his sexuality before, he informed the magazine that he now felt that it was important to be open and honest in order to provide understanding and hope for the younger generation.

“It was super complicated for me in the ’80s. I was totally open with the band and my family and my friends and certainly the people I was sleeping with. I thought it was pretty obvious.”

Stipe stated that in the past he didn’t see that being out could be so important for others. “I didn’t always see that. But I see now, of course that’s the case, of course that’s needed.”

Considering how fervently Stipe embraced everything else on the leftist checklist, it’s kind of funny that he didn’t see coming out of the closet, of all things, as being important. But I see no reason not to take him at his word. He did, after all, make a point of being uncategorizable and enigmatic about his private life–and why not?–and he’s been open about being bisexual for years. If he’s decided he is, in fact, gay, then sure, no reason he shouldn’t be up-front about it with the public if he likes.

I’m not sure the announcement will have the effect of “helping some kid out there,” though. Gay kids already know that it’s possible to be an open homosexual if, like Stipe, you’re constantly going to be pushing what a “transgressive” weirdo you are. Especially if you’ve also already made a pile and aren’t risking much in the way of money and career trajectory. I’m not faulting Stipe for waiting until he was ready to reveal this or that about himself; I’m only saying that it’s a bit late to be all public-spirited about it in the way he seems to want to be.

BTW, before anyone tries to call me on it: Yes, the joke of the post title is that “Superman” was neither written by R.E.M. nor sung by Michael Stipe.

Another homicide in Japan by a mentally disturbed person in a high-traffic public place:

Police are questioning an 18-year-old boy over the death of a stranger who was pushed in front of an approaching train at JR Okayama Station late Tuesday night.

…

Kariya, a prefectural government worker from Kurashiki, Okayama Prefecture, fell on the tracks of the Sanyo Line and was hit by a train bound for Fukuyama, Hiroshima Prefecture.

Kariya died about five hours later of shock caused by blood loss.

“I thought that if I killed somebody, I could go to prison. It didn’t matter who it was,” police quoted the boy as saying. They added that the suspect did not appear to know Kariya.

Police initially arrested the boy on suspicion of attempted murder. They will seek murder charges now that Kariya has died.

Police quoted the boy as saying that he had gone to the station “hoping to stab someone.”

Investigators found a kitchen knife with a 12-centimeter blade inside a shoulder bag the boy was carrying.

Not much more in the Japanese reports, such as this one at the Mainichi.

There are also reports that the 24-year-old who stabbed eight people in Ibaraki Prefecture over the weekend had well-known issues with controlling his temper:

Senior investigative officers said they gasped after seeing the word “death” written in red on the wall of his room. The door of the room, which had several fist-sized dents in it, was skewed, the officers said.

An 18-year-old man, who was at a game center near his home, said he had seen Kanagawa play fighting video games several times and that Kanagawa would pound the game machine or kick chairs when he lost or had not done well.

Another man said that since Kanagawa blew up over trivial matters, he was careful when he talked to him.

According to the investigators, when Kanagawa was a high school student, he was said to have often pounded or kicked things when he was under a lot of stress.

Earlier in the month, Kanagawa had e-mailed from his current mobile phone to an old one such messages as “What I do is what counts,” “I’m God,” and “I want to finish myself,” the officers said.