She might even consider giving up red meat/Man, you’re gonna look back to when your life was so sweet
So, see, it’s like, I’ve already got the distinguished grey coming in at the temples at a comfortable clip for a 38-year-old, and then along come people like these, apparently doing their best to ensure that the stresses of modern life make me a complete flippin’ silverdaddy by the time I turn 40 (via Hit and Run).
WTF is a flexitarian?
Josh Ankerberg, a 26-year-old who lives in Brooklyn, N.Y., started getting food stamps a year ago as an AmeriCorps volunteer, a group that has long had special dispensation to qualify for them, and he has continued using them while he job hunts. He uses his $200 in monthly benefits at Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods and a local farmer’s market to maintain his self-described healthy flexitarian [<--WTF?!--SRK] diet, and notes that two of his roommates — a graduate student in poetry and an underemployed cook, both in their 20s — also started getting food stamps in the past two months, as have other friends and acquaintances.
I can’t bear to go to the Urban Dictionary and look it up, because I just know it’s going to turn out to mean “vegetarian but with the maneuvering room to eat meat as long as it’s not a majority protein source” or “vegetarian unless you’re trapped in a not-yet-gentrified Billyburg industrial building and only have access to locusts” or some other such nonsense that lets you have both your burgers and your sanctimony.
Now, of course, that’s not the real story of the Salon.com piece. The real story is that underemployed graduates of hoity-toity colleges are now, often, eligible for food stamps, and they’re using them to dine after the fashion of Alice Waters: on organic, local, artisanal, small-batch, expensive foodstuffs. Vegetarianism is not the only thing they’re flexible about:
In the John Waters-esque sector of northwest Baltimore — equal parts kitschy, sketchy, artsy and weird — Gerry Mak and Sarah Magida sauntered through a small ethnic market stocked with Japanese eggplant, mint chutney and fresh turmeric. After gathering ingredients for that evening’s dinner, they walked to the cash register and awaited their moments of truth.
“I have $80 bucks left!” Magida said. “I’m so happy!”
“I have $12,” Mak said with a frown.
The two friends weren’t tabulating the cash in their wallets but what remained of the monthly allotment on their Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program debit cards, the official new term for what are still known colloquially as food stamps.
Is it my imagination, or does the reporter leave the distinct impression that these people are both (1) on food stamps and (2) not planning their budget? You know, you walk up to the register at the grocery store and swipe your card, and then you sorta find out you have “$80 bucks” (yay!) or $12 (how’d that happen?!), and you just take it as it comes.
Perhaps that’s a misrepresentation. But Michael Moynihan notes that the beneficiaries of public largess profiled show little concern for the fact that they’re living on money provided by the labor of other people. (The shame they feel at being on the dole reads as more a status thing than a morally-against-parasitism thing.)
My father is a steelworker who spent a good chunk of the ’80s laid off, and my degree is in comparative literature, so I am not without sympathy for people who find themselves thrust into dire financial straits or who didn’t choose the college courses that were the most obvious sources of marketable skills. But if you’re going to get all smug about how “creative” you are, how about learning to concoct delicious, nourishing, satisfying meals from the inexpensive ingredients truly frugal people use? Supermarket produce and packaged goods aren’t the easiest ingredients to spin into gold, it’s true, but with all that time to spend on cooking, you have the maneuvering room to exercise a little imagination.
Added on 17 March: Thanks to Eric for the link and for an apt summation of this whole thing: “God, people suck.”
If I were smart, I probably would have left it at that, but my curiosity got the better of me, and I had to go and look up flexitarian. It’s just as I’d feared:
Flexitarianism is a semi-vegetarian diet focusing on vegetarian food with occasional meat consumption. A self-described flexitarian seeks to decrease meat consumption without eliminating it entirely from his or her diet. There are no guidelines for how much or how little meat one must eat before being classified a flexitarian. Flexitarianism is distinguished from pescetarianism (i.e., one who eats only fish in addition to vegetarian foods), as well as pollotarianism (i.e., one who eats only poultry in addition to vegetarian foods).
So it’s sort of like a gustatory unitarianism: you get to feel noble and spiritual without having to cramp your style by following a lot of tiresome absolute rules.